Over the last few weeks, a breakthrough of immeasurable magnitude happened in my life. I finally fully opened my heart & mind, squelched my foolish pride, deconstructed my insecurities. I learned to trust. I let go of battles in my mind that were not mine to fight. I acknowledged that I had held onto things that I wanted to believe in because I had been hurt & I had caused pain - & I didn't know how to reconcile any of those things.
I was so ashamed by the pain I caused & so angry at myself about that. Sometimes I tried to believe the worst in another human being because it hurt too much to admit my own mistakes, insecurities, and deficiencies. But then I really realized something - that love is LOVE and love is stretchy & has no finite borders - we can't be boxed in the prisons of our minds if we embrace love & compassion - for ourselves & for others.
In so many areas I had had significant growth & had made peace with things beyond my control AND with things I had fu*%ed up on my own accord. But there was still an Achilles heel in my mind. But because of the hard work I have been doing, because of the love and care my dearest beloveds have been giving me over the last 8 months - one of the biggest issues that was holding me back has literally melted away in my mind and heart - only to be replaced with a joyful, exciting, and promising new beginning - with a new friend whom I will cherish for the rest of my life, this I know.
I look forward to forging our own friendship and relationship. :) and <3
