Overcoming an Achilles heel in my mind & discovering a new friend in the process...

Over the last few weeks, a breakthrough of immeasurable magnitude happened in my life. I finally fully opened my heart & mind, squelched my foolish pride, deconstructed my insecurities. I learned to trust. I let go of battles in my mind that were not mine to fight. I acknowledged that I had held onto things that I wanted to believe in because I had been hurt & I had caused pain - & I didn't know how to reconcile any of those things.


I was so ashamed by the pain I caused & so angry at myself about that. Sometimes I tried to believe the worst in another human being because it hurt too much to admit my own mistakes, insecurities, and deficiencies. But then I really realized something - that love is LOVE and love is stretchy & has no finite borders - we can't be boxed in the prisons of our minds if we embrace love & compassion - for ourselves & for others.


In so many areas I had had significant growth & had made peace with things beyond my control AND with things I had fu*%ed up on my own accord. But there was still an Achilles heel in my mind. But because of the hard work I have been doing, because of the love and care my dearest beloveds have been giving me over the last 8 months - one of the biggest issues that was holding me back has literally melted away in my mind and heart - only to be replaced with a joyful, exciting, and promising new beginning - with a new friend whom I will cherish for the rest of my life, this I know.


I look forward to forging our own friendship and relationship. :) and <3

Love is Stretchy and Life is a Gift - Thanksgiving Day Thoughts...

Today is a day of praise and appreciation for all that is good in our lives - our family, friends, homes, jobs, hopes, dreams... It's also a day where we send extra love vibes to those who are hurting, who are having difficulties during the holidays because they feel alone & miss those who aren't in their lives anymore. Some people do not have warm homes and turkey dinners in their near future.  Some are struggling to feed their families, keep roofs over their heads, and find jobs in order to support them.  Some are living in fear of being hurt by a loved one.  Some hold deep secrets within themselves that burden them because they do not know how to tell others who they are, what they are - they fear rejection and ridicule, so they stay closeted in fear and isolation.  Some are overseas, far away from their loved ones, serving their country with honor, while their families are back home missing them. There are so many reasons why people aren't always able to be with their beloveds on days such as these...

Love & acknowledgement is given to those who are finding this to be a day of challenge, for whatever reason. May those whose hearts are heavy today know, & feel on some level, that there are so many people out there who are thinking about them, praying for them, & pulling for them. This I know - LOVE on all levels is infinitely more powerful & is being sent to you. All of you. ♥

You are loved.  Believe it or not, you are loved by people whom you've never even met.  Sometimes when the spirit is broken and the heart is so heavy, it is almost impossible to believe that Life will get better, that things can and will change.  But you just reading this right now puts energy out into your precious existence - you reading these words gives you another piece of armor to strengthen you.  The heart is so strong, love is so stretchy, and your Life is a gift - YOU are a gift to our existence.  My Thanksgiving Day prayer is that you'll start to believe in that... <3

"When you are praising, when you are appreciating, when you are acknowledging value, when you are looking for positive aspects, when you are laughing, when you are applauding, when you are joyous, when you are feeling that feeling of appreciation pulsing through you, in those times, there IS NO RESISTANCE within you. You are, in those moments, vibrationally up to speed with who you really are."~Abraham-Hicks

When I figured out I'm not a "stupid bitch"...

From the book 7 Points of Impact - I wrote this chapter over a year ago and upon reading it today, I think about how all of the words ring even more true now.  I think about how I would add to this chapter...  Most of all, I think about the thousands of women and girls who have yet to find their voices and believe in themselves.  It is my wish and prayer that each and every one of them will see themselves through their own beautiful eyes and embrace their own power and worth.


http://7pointsofimpact.com/paige-russell/


I am not a stupid bitch.  Look at how one underlined word in a sentence can completely change a thought or a belief.  By the time I turned 40, I had an impressive resume of career accomplishments - I had also been through two marriages, experienced verbal, physical, and sexual abuse by people who truly loved me, buried both parents, overcome a dependency on prescription sleeping pills, and wrestled with self-injury and depression.  I was able to inspire and motivate others in their lives, but never could seem to locate that magic key to transform my own life.  It took 40 years of life lessons to understand that I had the power to embrace a new mental mindset to transform my life.  The phenomenal Maya Angelou once said, “Take a day to heal from the lies you've told yourself and that have been told to you.” It is time to realize how liberating and life-changing it is to become what you believe because your world is exactly what you think - your day starts now…

Fast forward to the here and now - I am what I am, full speed ahead,  ovaries to the wall, baby!  I’m rip-roaring’-rarin’ to go, ready to jump in there and savor being alive!  I have learned that as life unfolds, we give back, pay it forward, and make a difference in this existence.  Every single person reading this book has his or her own set of self-defeating negative self-talk and can relate to having an “inner monologue of pooper-doopers.”  Every person reading this chapter has a valuable story worth listening to and learning from – what are your stories?

The stories that we hold in our minds are incredibly intense and affect us on a level of the highest magnitude.  These stories hold great power over us and feed into the belief systems that run our lives.  My hypnosis instructors and mentors, Dawn and Drew Ferguson of Ferguson Hypnotherapy, taught that our beliefs are evidence-based and it can be estimated that over 80% of the beliefs that you carry around with you today were formed and accepted by the time you were 8 years old.  Over 90% of the beliefs you lug around were formed and accepted by the time you were 13 years old.  Who most likely had the primary influence on forming these beliefs?  So often it was those who were in authority at the time or the people with whom you spent the most time.  So shall we blame the parent, blame the grade school bully, blame the mean teacher, and throw ourselves a most remarkable Pity Party?   Admittedly, many of us have kicked up our heels at such parties, playing the blame game - but if you want to change your life, you have to come back to looking at the mental clutter of outdated beliefs that hurt you.  The whole idea isn’t to remain stuck in the “WHY” mode of the past – instead, we look at the “WHAT” and the “HOW”:  What was going on?  Review the reality of what happened.  What do you feel and what do you know about what happened? How can you change how you feel about this?  How can you learn from it and take the lesson with you, but leave behind the attachment to the event and the attachment to the beliefs that hurt you?  Review.  Release.  Relearn.  I will never forget the day in class when Dawn said these three magic words, which have become a mantra for me, and have been shared with many people.  Review.  Release.  Relearn.

How can you overcome obstacles, get through the difficult times, and survive in this day and age?  Well... 

• You roll up your sleeves and you start dealing with it and embrace being progressive, not regressive.
• You look at the areas in your life that are stressful and hurtful.  
• You review the things in your life that are not working and have not been working for years.
• You hone in on areas and issues where it’s been like trying to nail    Jell-O to a tree! 

Then you take some precious time for yourself and start distilling it down to determine what one significant BELIEF do you currently carry around and cling to – what is the one most powerful belief that you have been holding onto and have allowed to completely run your life – your eating habits, your relationships, your self-esteem?  What belief could stand to be reviewed, released, and relearned?


Such beliefs can hold a person hostage and trap one in a perpetual state of emotional blackmail.  When you read the following, put a mental checkmark by the beliefs that a part of your mind has bought into in the past, or that stills believes right here, right now:

You are stupid.  You are lazy.  Boring.  Fat.  Ugly.  You are just like your mother.  No one will ever love you.  You can’t do that.  I wish you had never been born.  Keeping you was a mistake.  You are the only one who can take care of everything.  You are a stupid bitch.  You’re always wrong.  You are nothing without a husband.  Who would ever want someone like you?  You always screw up.  You’ll never make it on your own.  You are not worthy.  You are _______.

Do any of these beliefs sound familiar?  Did your mind fill in the blank with yet one more negative and hurtful belief?  If so, then what NEW BELIEFS could you possibly absorb and own, after reviewing and releasing those that have been holding you down?  What new truisms can your powerful mind begin to explore and how do you go about finding them?


Seek out, discover, and surround yourself with people who inspire and challenge you.  Uncover and approach those who have the talent, training, and knowledge on a wide variety of things that can completely rock and change your world - if you change your mind, your life will follow!  If this is not the life you ordered, then review, release, and relearn and give your powerful mind the tools it needs to create your own true life and reality, on your terms.  Be prepared to hit it hard, scream at the top of your lungs, cry until you are drier than bone – that’s part of the reviewing and releasing.


But then as you relearn – be prepared to laugh uproariously, dance like a crazy-ass nutball, accept all the love, expertise, wisdom, and assistance that’s out there along the way.  Life IS good – we are all connected, you are worthy.  You are radiant.  You have talents and abilities that are meant to shine.  Nothing and no one can hold you back.  Heather Handler of Myklo Designs has a painting that hangs on my office wall and it says “Once you start to listen, everything will become clear, and once you decide to fly, your wings will never stop moving.”  It is time to discover and embrace some really wonderful truisms that will help you become what you believe because your world is exactly what you think – you are totally worth that, you know?

A Prayer for Today - 9/11/11 - Love to you all...

GodSpirit,

Every Life created has many layers

We feel sparkling moments of joy, love, sheer happiness

We experience the most crushing of sorrows

We love & bask in the sunshine of our beloveds,

Imprinting moments of delight on our hearts

We mourn & miss those we lose,

Those who leave & those who are taken away

On Days of Remembrance like today,

September 11, 2011

We all feel connected to a greater humanity

To Life, Loss, & Love

GodSpirit, please help us

To remember & acknowledge

To be filled w/ a resolve stronger than steel

That there is strength in compassionate wisdom

That we must fiercely protect the innocent & the weak

And we can seek to move forward, learning from the Past

Rebuilding a rock-solid Future

That is rooted in Love.

Amen.